The Twelve Nays of Christmas
by The Wise Duck
Summary: It's Christmas and the Girl Who Can Do Anything thinks she has finally found something that she can't do.
1. Jingled Bells

Kim Possible and all the characters contained within are the sole property of Disney.

The situations and contents of this story are mine and are intended solely as recreational and for the enjoyment of myself and other fans.

* * *

Chapter One - Jingled Bells

The middle of December and the first major storm of the season blew into Middleton Colorado. Eighteen inches of snow was dropped in two days. There were the usual problems with street clearance, lots of minor fender benders as drivers made the seasonal change to their driving skills and plenty of kids making last minute Christmas cash by hiring out to shovel a neighbor's driveway.

But not all was bright and cheer in Middleton. Something was going on. It might have been missed or ignored by the civil authorities and all of the adults—

But the teens of Middleton High, the home of the Mad Dogs picked up on it right away.

Speculation ran wild.

For more than three weeks, one of Middleton's most famous residents . . . who just so happened to also be Middleton High's most famous loser was the focus of that speculation, the talk, the gossip. Interest among the high school population was at its peak, the flames fanned even higher by the very actions of the 'person of interest' as well as the unknown and unexplained absence of—

And that was the most madding thing about it. For the 'person of interest' seemed to be utterly normal . . . or at least as normal as any person was whose motto and and acknowledged lifestyle was patterned after the philosophy of 'never be normal'.

He spent his days going to his classes (sleeping through some of them), getting picked on by bullies, falling flat on his face in P.E., gorging his way through lunch period. No sign that anything was different except—

He spent his afternoons in his usual booth at Bueno Nacho, working his way through the menu (aided and abetted by his strange little pet of course) with the ferocity that had unofficially given him the status of 'Lord of the Naco'. But the fact that he was alone in the booth, that his—

And that was the madding part. For as long as anyone had known or at least known of The Loser (which is what he was referred to by many in the school who didn't know his actual name), he had been legend for his wild mood swings and sudden/fearsome 'tantrums of panic and fear'. It was suppose to be a 'fact' among the teens at school that The Losers seemingly often happy-go-lucky periods were the result of a brain which had no real connection with the reality of "High School Life and the Results and Requirements of the Food Chain'.

So the wonder and speculation ran through all members of the student body for the facts of the current situation were known and obvious. The results were not.

The facts of the matter were: (1), that the well known Loser of Middleton High, the one whose name was actually Ron Stoppable, had been, for more than three weeks, alone . . . without his guardian and protector, famed teen troubleshooter Kim Possible.

Fact (2), that this same Ron Stoppable, did not appear in the slightest to be sad, low, glum, down, upset, unhappy, dejected, depressed, miserable, despondent, disheartened,

down-in-the-dumps or even overly aware of his unusual and singular 'aloneness'. He in fact seemed to be quite focused (or whatever passed for that in his case) and cheerful to any who might lower themselves to look or utter a word to him in passing.

The third major fact was that the involved item which was missing from the vicinity of Stoppable was the equally legendary (for other obvious reasons) Kim Possible. That drove the

wonder and speculation into overdrive. Had she had gone off on one of her world saving 'missions' without her 'sidekick', things might be different?

Fact (4), no she had not.

Kim had been at school during the entire period. She had been attending classes regularly (two of which she actually shared with Stoppable which seemed to be the ones he usually managed to stay awake in), doing her cheerleading, participating in the Student Counsel—

But something was wrong there as well. To the wonder of those who worked with her, Kim seemed . . . if it was possible (pardon) . . . stressed . . . preoccupied. There were a few that actually bandied about the term 'worried' but that was immediately shot down in the general discussion.

What was 'known' about that was that Kim had curtailed or postponed _all_ of her extracurricular and afterschool activates. Chaos was resulting from her lack of leadership for the Holiday Toy Drive, the School Decorating Committee, the Middleton Food-for-the-Needy Program. Others had stepped into the void (the Toy Drive had been 'taken over' [although others would say 'hijacked'] by one Bonnie Rockwaller) but everyone knew that none of the events would be as dynamic as they might have been.

That of course left the question of the hour to be, other than why was Ron Stoppable apparently 'okay with his singular aloneness'—?

Just where was Kim Possible disappearing too?

* * *

Kim Possible stared at the person standing in front of her as if that person was insane.

No . . . not insane, stark raving mad.

No, not stark raving mad . . . that would only apply to someone like Drakken. This person was even worse! This person was top-of-the-heap-WACKED, more out of touch with reality than any villain or henchman she had ever encountered. This person was—

This person . . . was herself, staring out of the bathroom mirror in front of her.

Kim's freshly showered crimson hair was hanging wet and clinging to the sides of her face which only accented just how pale she was at the very thought of what she was about to—

The seventeen-year-old heroines eyes slammed shut, a lower lip was bitten so hard that it _hurt_! She felt shivers of—

She was actually . . . no, she couldn't be . . . not her. She was Kim Possible, adventurer, crime fighter, world saver—

She could _not_ be frightened!

But somehow, the butterflies in her stomach the size of Shego's ego did not want to listen.

"Kim?" she heard her mother's call.

She wanted to drop her dripping head into her hands and _scream_! How had she ever gotten herself into this situation. _WHAT HAD SHE BEEN THINKING!_ Why didn't she just stick to things that she excelled in? Why had she allowed herself to think that she could ever even attempt to do what she was about to—

"Kim?"

The "I'm coming," came out a little wild, a little crazy as she slammed her head down into the towel in her hands, working her hair so hard that it _hurt_—

The pain at least helped keep her mind off of what she was about to do.

_Or at least attempt . . . and probably FAIL MISERABLY in the process!_


	2. Crylent Night

Chapter Two – Crylent Night

* * *

It was . . . The 'NIGHT'.

Cold, crisp and clear. The week before Christmas. A white Christmas to be sure. Everybody in a festive mood.

Well . . . almost everybody.

Kim was riding alone with her mother in their van. She could hear her mother beside her talking, chatting easily as mothers do about various things, but for her shame, Kim wasn't listening. She looked out the front window into the night without seeing. She paid no attention to all the colorful displays on snow covered lawns or garage doors or rooftops. She didn't feel the sting of the cold emitting from the window next to her. She was oblivious to everything it seemed except the one thought running through her mind in an endless loop.

_You are going to blow it. You are so totally going to screw it up! You are going to trash this to the point where there can be no drama!_

"Kim honey, we're here."

Kim blinked herself back; finding her mother looking back over her shoulder at her daughter for Anne Possible was already halfway out of the driver's door. Kim swallowed against a throat both suddenly dry and tight. She took a glance through the night at the form of the large building in front of which they had just arrived.

Kim thought of a pit with a mutant five-armed octopus—

And how she would rather be inside that pit once again.

"Kim?"

Kim managed _not_ to close her eyes in prayer even as she almost whispered, "I'm coming Mom."

* * *

Ron Stoppable took great care in making his way around from the driver's side to the passengers of his mom's car. He was bundled up against the intense cold and he never trusted his balance when he looked something akin to that monster marshmallow guy from the classic first 'Spookbusters' movie. But as he was chauffeuring his mother this evening, he didn't have the opportunity or the option to peel his bulk down to something manageable.

With a flourish (and a near overbalancing), he opened the car door for his mother. She stepped out, looking elegant in her son's eye in a long coat. Ron's father was out of town on an overnight business trip requiring Ron to escort his mom for the evening. It was unfortunate that Ron's dad could not attend the event as they had all been looking forward to it with various degrees of anticipation. Ron had butterflies in his stomach . . . but then Ron just about had butterfly's in various body parts just about every moment of the day and night.

Ron told himself to focus. The last several weeks had been hard on him. The enforced separation for his BFGF had been just 'rough'. But he had promised her and vowed to himself that he would get through it with a smile on his face. The fact that there had been days where they hadn't even talked to each other over the phone—

Which considering the shock and worry that had almost overwhelmed Ron during the one phone conversation that he and Kim had had just the previous night—

_Focus Ron_ he said to himself sternly. With the treacherous footing he had to take his responsibilities to his mother seriously. He was walking her across a freshly plowed parking lot in sub-freezing temperatures so he had to have a most definite 'head-in-the-game' attitude for his mom had decided to wear heels even though the evening was officially 'casual'. There were also other's about, some of those others were kids who were throwing snowballs with heedless abandon or sliding/skidding on patches of ice despite vehement parental admonitions. Ron, almost doing his mission mode 'neck-on-a-swivel' routine wasn't sure if he was steering his mom or if she was steering him through all of the madness but at least his mom made it 'look' like it was his doing.

Eventually the two of them made the curb, gaining the comparative safety of the sidewalk (his mom deftly avoiding something that looked like a basset hound in four-wheel-locked-skid being chased by two laughing little kids) and up under the breezeway to the warm invitation of light and heat.

As he neared that threshold, Ron took a deep breath, his thoughts going back to that same phone conversation and the unbelievable feeling that he had felt coming from his girl—

_Head-in-the-game Kim. You can do anything!_

_

* * *

_

A/N: I want to thank everyone who read the first chapter of this story and a special thanks to both those who reviewed it and those who greeted me back after my absence.

I'm afraid that I'm back for only a short while with this story. The plot bunny attacked three years ago and I actually wrote the rough for this story in Dec 08. But the rough was finished the night before the-night-before-Christmas and there was no way that it was going to be edited and finished up prior to Christmas Day. As it was I totally forgot that I had even done a rough until I started working on it again on Dec 2 of this year and went to open and save a new file.

The only reason that happened is that on Dec 1st of this year I finally finished Book One of my _Firefly/Serenity_-Original Character SciFi series story which is what I've been working on since the finish of WSCS and Cuddle Buddies. '_Firefly-The Tale of Lady_' stands right now at 158,000 words with Book One comprising 111,000 of that. Part of the problem has been that it's the first story that I've written that didn't come out 'linier' from my brain, that is that it was written completely in a line from start to finish. I have found that having to make stuff fit in between already written chapter three and chapter seven was a lot more difficult that I imagined.

At the same time, there have been lots of distractions. I got hooked by several on-line manga's that demanded nothing else be done until they were completely gone through. I've changed work assignments, days and hours and even had a critical-condition medical emergency in April 09. The only reason I mention that is that I want to, like CaptainKodak1, remind everyone of the importance of taking care of themselves and being aware of just how special and important your life is to those around you.

I have every intention of getting back to KP. But I made a promise to myself that I would finish what I started because I know that I and many of you out there dislike stories that are started and never finished. Now all I have to do is decide wither or not I'm going to publish the bloody thing under the _Firefly_ section of and risk the wrath of _those_ fans for what I've done to their canon.

So I hope everyone enjoys my little Christmas story here. And by the response it has already gotten, I have to say that the attention is humbling.

I Will Remain

Your Humble and Devoted Servant

The Wise Duck


	3. Have Yourself a Nervous Little Christmas

Chapter Three – Have Yourself a Nervous Little Christmas

* * *

"You can NOT back out now!"

Kim felt her face flush with both anger and mortification. She opened her mouth to reply—

"No Kim!" Liz shot back at her with a sharp wave of her hand. "We've both worked waayyyyy to long for you to even THINK that you can just put it off because you've decided at _the very last moment_ that you don't want to do it. If that's the case, you never should have opened your mouth three months ago! Now it's time put up or shut up girl and I will _not_ let you shut up. You hear me? I am _NOT_ going to let you blow all my and _your_ hard work!"

Kim dropped her head to look straight down toward the floor so that the other Middleton Mad Dogs red head wouldn't see the anger building on her face. Of course she didn't . . . want to . . . quit . . . but Kim knew that the evening was headed for disaster.

But . . . Liz was . . . right. And that had been part of the problem all along. And with that thought, the anger that had been building inside of Kim as a result of Liz's refusal died. The anger was misplaced anyway. Of all the Mad Dog cheerleaders, Liz had always been the weakest, the least athletic and agile for some of the more complicated routines that were done by the squad. She was also . . . Liz freely admitted it herself . . . the least attractive of all the girls in the squad . . . making her the . . . 'consolation prize' among the Food Chain for the boys who just 'had to date a cheerleader'.

But that didn't mean that Liz didn't have assets of her own. In the last couple of months, Kim had discovered that Liz had a will and determination to succeed that rivaled Kim's own.

And if she was on the bottom rung as far as being a cheerleader was concerned, she more than made up for it in other outlets which allowed her to shine like a blazing sun.

But despite all of that, or maybe because of it, there was a 'stubborn ass' part in Kim that simply resented having to surrender the authority she had known over Liz as Cheer Captain. In the arduous training that Liz had laid on her over the past three weeks, it had caused more than one blowup . . . . . . all of which had been on Kim's part . . . . . . all of which had Kim, once she cooled down, going back to Liz, sincerely apologizing for both her ego and the oversized shoulder chip.

Liz on the other hand had been fair and considering of Kim's . . . issues. But once involved in their work, she had been a relentless taskmaster . . . which Kim intellectually understood due to the . . . difficult challenge she presented to Liz . . . but which Kim also resented although she also knew that she didn't have a leg of righteousness to stand on.

After all, as Liz had just said, Kim had been the one to instigate the whole thing in the first place.

But now . . . at the brink—

"I'm not going to make it," Kim muttered, completely ready to surrender. Due to the fact that the anger had left her, all there was in her now was her fear that, "I'm gonna crack Liz, I _know_ I am."

The bob-haired redhead shook her head in disbelief. "No way Kim, you've had it locked in for the last week! You've got to have faith!"

"I'm," Kim started, actually feeling a little sick to her stomach and having to _force_ the next word, "_afraid_ Liz." Kim had to stop and sniff. This was the first time she had ever admitted something like that to anybody other than Ron or her Mom. But . . . Liz had earned the honesty from her if for nothing else by putting up with all the _snap_ that Kim had been giving out, especially during the last week. And it was with that honesty that Kim told her, "if . . . I blow it . . . I'll have ruined the most important part of the—" Kim knew just how _lame_ she was sounding but—

"Kim," Liz laid a gentle hand on the other girls shoulder. "You can't blow it. It's just not in you. It's like your martial arts training. You've worked _hard_ at it. It should be ingrained in you now. If you would only _relax_ and let it come."

Kim looked up into her classmates eyes, seeing the . . . belief there. "It's all about the focus we talked about," Liz continued giving Kim's shoulder a soft squeeze. "After all, you're the one who's pictures in the dictionary alongside that very word. You've taught _me_ some aspects concerning it during more than one cheer practice."

Kim looked at the other girl, feeling small and embarrassed. She knew that this was so much like how she used to react to the twisting of the Food Chain; manipulating her feelings and perceptions, warping/controlling so much of her life prior to Ron's helping them both find each other.

Which made Kim think . . . of Ron . . . of that terrible conversation they had had the previous night.

Kim bit her lip and gave Liz a small nod even as she wiped the trace of a tear out of one eye. She didn't want to do it but . . . she knew that what she _wanted_ to do was the _wrong_ thing to do after _everybody's_ hard work.

Kim . . . hoped that she could do it. She still had her doubts. But . . . she looked at Liz who saw the acceptance in Kim's eyes—

Liz nodded firmly, "come on, we still have to warm up."

* * *

As Ron walked through that portal with his mother on his arm, his mind went back to the phone conversation he had had with Kim the previous evening.

"Come on KP, I really don't see the problem here?"

Ron was frowning as he held his phone to his ear. It was almost sounding as if his BFGF was—

"Ron," and there was a hesitation in Kim's voice, "the closer we get to this, the more I'm having a hard time with it."

The frown on Ron's face got frowner. "Kim, I don't know what the big deal is? You've faced down the baddest bad guys on the planet. You've saved everything from the biggest cruise ship to the smallest kid on a trike from disaster. This should be no worse than walking up to the counter at Bueno Nacho."

"Ron," he actually started at her tone. Kim was using that sad soft voice that as far as he knew she used to him, only when confessing something from her very core. "I'm . . . . . . . nervous."

Now Ron's brow knit in thought. "What do you mean . . . . . . nervous?"

"You know," came the small reply. " . . . . . . nervous."

Ron threw another stitch into his brow. "What kind of . . . . . . nervous?"

". . . . . . _nervous_ . . . . . . . . . . . . nervous."

Ron still couldn't get his mind around what Kim was trying to say. "Are we talking about 'going to see the dentist' nervous, or 'getting ready to take your first driving test' nervous?"

"Worse than that," was the meek reply.

Now Ron's eyes opened. "Worse than that? Are we talking 'getting called into Mr. Barkin's office' nervous?"

"Worse than that."

Now Ron's eyes were wide open. "You can't mean 'asking Shelly Silverstein to the spring dance in your freshman year' nervous!"

"Ron," Kim's voice sounded as if it was about to break. "I think we're talking about a level of nervousness that up to now you and I have never experience but we know other kids who have."

Ron felt the cold horror go to the very roots of his soul. "Not—not, not 'the first time you've been invited over to the new girls/guys house to meet the parents over dinner' nervous."

Kim's silence was her answer.

_The Horror! The Horror!_

As he took the final step through the portal, Ron swallowed against a tightening throat.

_Focus KP!_


	4. Oh Run All Ye Faithful

Chapter Four – Oh Run All Ye Faithful

* * *

"Jean, Ron!" James Possible reached out a hand across the threshold to lead Ron's mom into the comparatively toasty foyer. "It's so good to see you," Kim's dad continued directly to Ron's mom.

Jean Stoppable smiled, "It is rare isn't it James." She gave her son a glance over her shoulder that was both loving and annoyed. "Considering that my son seems to spend _all_ of his time at your house, it's a wonder that we parents ever have a chance to get together." Ron blushed even as he started to help his mom out of her coat. Jeans smile showed that she enjoyed the hit even as she looked back to Kim's dad. "I understand that my son's young lady is . . . having some issues?"

James gave a chuckle. "Nothing that she can't overcome I'm sure. After all, nothing is impossible for a Possible you know." He then took the pair personally in hand, leading them in through the next set of doors and down the aisles to their seats. Monique along with Wade and his Mom was already there, waving at them as they came down.

Ron tried his best to get all of his and his moms bulging covers and coats stuffed under his seat; he had only marginal success. Rufus who had been inside the deepest pocket of his coat had scrambled out, going down the front of Ron's colorful holiday sweater. When the moment came, all the mole rat would have to do would be stick his head up out of the sweaters neckline to watch.

Kim's Dad had returned to the door acting as 'greeter'. Looking around, Ron could see both of Kim's bothers, Jim and Tim doing duty as 'ushers'; both of them looking thoroughly unhappy (that we-could-be-at-home-blowing-something-up type look) although they were polite and correct with the people they were helping.

Ron's Mon was taking pains to look around, as this was her first time in the location. Ron of course had been here as many times as Kim's and the Possible's guest so despite any possible differences, he felt quite at home. It was comfortably warm, the seating padded and the pianist at the front was playing a lively selection of holiday songs.

Mother and son sat comfortably as others still arrived. Ron, Monique, Wade and Rufus (when he surfaced) talked, Jean spent most of the time in conversation with Mrs. Load but all of them occasionally nodded or waved at someone they recognized from the general world outside. Finally, James shepherded an unwilling set of twins into the seats reserved for them next to Ron.

The lights dimmed as the piano continued to play, only to have the swelling of the organ join it in a duet of keyboards—

A fantasia of music rode back, forth and in tandem between the two instruments as the combined talent of twenty fingers was displayed. Ron closed his eyes and let the music take him where it would.

Then the minister of the Possible's church came out to welcome them to the Holiday Festival of Music and invited one and all, regardless of faith or belief or feeling towards the holidays and the season, to enjoy the talents, the music, and the emotions of the evening.

The small 'orchestra' came out first to their half circle seats in front. Ron then took in a sharp breath of anticipation for the moment. He banished the bad memories about a certain phone conversation out of his mind. He had trust. He knew that Kim would get through it.

_In the clutch_ is what he thought.

* * *

Anne Possible stood amongst the others feeling their excitement and energetic nervousness flow over her like a gentle tide. But the focus of all her awareness was her daughter standing like a petrified tree directly in front of her. Anne had been in the hallway outside of the classroom listening discreetly while Liz had brought Kim into line. As a doctor, she recognized her daughters 'issues' even as her 'Mom' side felt her daughter's pain. But she also agreed with Liz. Kim herself had ventured the idea to Anne all the way back at the beginning of summer with none of the nervousness or drama that her daughter was displaying now. Anne had been delighted at the thought. She had been singing in the church choir since right after the boys had been born. To have her daughter up there with her was the realization of a long suppressed hope.

But . . . and it was a big 'but', Anne didn't think that Kim would still have all the issues that she was having. Not after all the time that had passed. Inside, part of her she knew was disappointed with her daughter for still having those issues. Anne readily admitted that what had happened to her daughter back in the day had been devastating to someone of Kim's nature and personality. But in the time that had passed, Kim had been through at least two events which seemed to have put the ghosts to rest.

Apparently not.

That aside however, Anne knew that this was a time where she had to keep a firm hand in control of her daughter. The fact that Kim was still acting as if she was about to be forced into an arena full of lions even after Liz's little 'pep talk' and the warm up of the choir left Anne with no choice but to stand directly behind her daughter with the intent of bulldozing her forward out into the lights if necessary.

As a parent, Anne had always been thankful that Kim was the motivated, dedicated, conscientious Alpha Female/Blue Fox that she was. But that also had its down side. Kim's confidence in herself and her abilities was extreme. She was convinced that she really could do anything and that was backed up by the record of her life. But that also meant, in the very rare instances that Kim had become convinced that there was something she _couldn't _do, all those accolades turned around with equally formidable force which made Kim into something somewhere between _both_ the rock and the hard place _and_ the irresistible force against the immovable object.

Hearing their minister finishing his introduction, Anne looked to one side to see the orchestra starting to move out through the lower door. They were just moments away.

Anne leaned forward to the side of Kim's head to whisper into her ear.

"We all love you."

* * *

The line ahead of Kim started to move. She had heard her mother's words. She thought of her family and Ron. The warmth of their love wanted to enfolded her, to give her strength—

But it didn't make the fear go away. All it did was allow her to move her feet when the moment came. Kim tried to follow all the advice, tried to _relax_. But the old memory still had so much power. A power amplified by all the time Kim had spent denying that it was still there, denying that the memory wouldn't affect her after so much time having passed.

That memory, a memory of the fear, the embarrassment, the sense of . . . the _realization_ of total failure on her part, clung over her like a wet blanket and dripped like ice cold water into her soul. A memory with power for it contained both the moment of the disaster and the lingering aftermath that followed, an aftermath which had been devastating due to the fact that Kim had never experienced its like before that period in her life.

_I want to run away—_ was Kim's next thought. _Even now, just the chance that it might happen again—_

_I am going to so totally blow it!_ followed directly thereafter.

* * *

The Choir came out into view. Ron could see that Kim was in the front row, stacked between Liz and her mother, the three redheads coming to a stop that left them centered in the middle of the choir. Kim's robe looked robe looked heavy and awkward. She had told Ron that she would be wearing just her green tank and blue Capri's, because she was fearful that under the bright lights she would overheat.

Kim's face looked pale under the lights. Her expression was a non-expression.

Ron found himself frowning again.

The program started.


	5. Let It Show, Let It Flow, LET IT GO!

Chapter Five – Let It Show, Let It Flow, LET IT GO!

* * *

The Possible males, the Stoppable's mother and son, two friends with one mom and a naked mole rat were just nine among the audience who thoroughly enjoyed the first half. A broad spectrum of secular and religious carols and even a couple of Hanukah songs thrown in for good measure made for a delightful program.

The first half finale and showstopper of course was Schubert's 'Ellen's dritter Gesang (Ave Maria)' with Kim's fellow cheerleader Liz as the soloist.

Ron had been amazed to find out that Liz had been studying voice since she had been eight. He had had no idea that the only girl on the cheerleading squad who was not completely focused on the 'Food Chain' (other than his Kim of course) had such an amazing voice and the ability to use it well. He had first found out when he had attended this same Holiday special the year previous (although Kim of course had been sitting next to him on that occasion) and Liz had made her debut solo with the difficult 'O Holy Night' knocking the high note (or so Ron was told) right out of the church. He had memories of seeing Liz in the choir during prior performances and church services but never before had Liz displayed her personal talent.

Ron of course had no idea that a year later his Kim would be up there singing right next to Liz with her mother on the other side. Ron loved her singing and loved her voice, had supported her wholeheartedly during this entire thing, keeping his promise to stay out of trouble and not pester Kim while she was going through the three weeks of arduous training that Liz had required.

Now, at the end, Ron still could not believe that his KP was acting as if she was nervous about any part of the performance. Ron couldn't believe that Kim was convinced that she was 'gonna blow it.'

Ron had faith.

But the look on Kim's face?

Yes, Ron did enjoy the first half but—

The frown on his face became frownier.

* * *

Kim was miserable. She was supposed to be enjoying herself! But instead she felt like a robot, mechanically shouting out the tunes of the holiday. Liz had been right, she had it all 'knocked' so that she could do it, she could at least 'make like she was singing' without really thinking about it. But that didn't mean that she was having 'fun' doing it. And that was a travesty considering the circumstances.

And the worst was yet to come.

_Stop IT!_ Kim shouted to herself as 'THAT SONG" approached. _This was your idea! You wanted to do this. This all was part of something that you wanted to do ever since Ron made you sing for that talent show against Bonnie—_

And that in fact was the crux of the matter.

Kim had always _loved_ singing. The carols during the Possible Family Christmases, the campfires during summer and cheer camps, the feelings and memories had long stayed with her. One of her early dreams was to be a singer . . . before the adrenalin rush of world saving had replaced that. Her current lifestyle hadn't taken away the want, the desire or the joy of singing, it had just buried it, making it just 'something to do' with family or friends rather than something to pursue.

But the great talent show fiasco of her and Ron's sophomore year had brought that desire back to life for Kim. But in her incredibly busy life she didn't think that she could find time in her impossible schedule to do anything about it. The desire remained there like a slumbering dragon.

Then there was the episode with 'Rappin' Drakken when she had decided to appear on 'American Star Maker' to counteract Drakken's scheme. Despite Ron's assurances that she would win hands down, she had wanted to brush up on her singing. There hadn't been time to try to call in a favor from any of her big name music friends—

But her mom sang in the church choir and the Music Director at their church taught at Voice at Upperton University. The Music Director had agreed to help Kim even with the absolute, spur-of-the-moment, it's the last day-it's happening tomorrow urgency—if Kim returned the favor by coming back and singing in the choir (the director had heard about Kim's voice in the Middleton High talent show).

Kim hadn't wanted to make the commitment for several reasons but she was stuck. She had agreed to it but somehow afterwards, with her life the way it was, Kim had just found ways to put off returning the commitment for like . . . forever.

Inside of herself, the reality of it was that Kim regretted doing so. Being in the choir would give her and her mom an additional bond and she would get to _sing_! She loved the music performed in their church; not just the religious pieces but the multiple styles of other music for the Director often brought in non-church pieces, selections, spirituals and show tunes, working to broaden the appeal and to entice part-time attendees to participate more.

But Kim had all the other demands on her time and the fact that she feared to let the rest of the choir down when she was on a mission during rehearsal night or Sunday morning was a very real reason why she continued to avoid the actual act of becoming part of the choir. The Director never stopped hinting however whenever she saw Kim. Her mother Anne hadn't been above dropping an occasional word herself.

Still—

A little voice had finally spoken to Kim the previous spring. She had been helping out with a community project at church while the tech crew was reviewing video footage from the previous winter's music festival. Kim had watched the last part of it—

Kim had then . . . actually she did it weeks later after much anxious thought, went to her Mom, telling her that she was ready to join. Her mom had been delighted—

Kim had not shown a single piece of the buried drama and repressed anxiety which had caused the extended hesitation. Both the renewed desire and the hesitation were tied directly into the Christmas festival video she had seen . . . as well as a memory from back in the day, a memory that at the time. Kim was determined to lay to rest forever.

Now, at the reality—

* * *

One song ended, another song was about to begin. Only one in the audience noticed any change to one of the members of the choir. An intense look came to his eyes and he folded his arms across his chest. He now knew. He had a hard time believing it but he knew. He now knew that all the drama and all of the worry that his girl had poured out to him during the phone conversation the previous evening was not just a case of spotlight jitters. She really _was_ having a hard time with it. That meant that she was—

Ron, with all the power of his feelings, directed his thoughts toward his redhead up in the choir just as hard as he could—

_KP, it's gonna be okay. Stop getting so upset. Relax! Let it go! RELAX!_

_

* * *

_

It was here. _THAT SONG!_ The song that was integral to the memory of what had happened before. The song that had turned on her like a beast, bringing the entire world crashing down on top of her. _THAT SONG!_ The one that even today, she found that she could only sing softly, hoping that no one at her family holiday gatherings or any of her friends Christmas parties could actually hear how hesitant, how . . . reluctant she was to sing _that song_!

_That song_ fell halfway through the first half of the program. As it started, Kim felt the old fear taking her—

And through the choirs performance of _that song_, Kim couldn't do anything more than 'mouth' the words.

She could also feel the disproval of both women on either side of her who unlike the audience, could tell that her voice had dropped out.

When it was done, Kim wanted to believe that the cold sweat she felt running down her back under her tank top was due to the heavy choir robe and the hot lights—

She found that she felt little relief. In fact, her inability to sing _that song_ only reinforced her belief that she was going to _destroy_ what she and Liz had been working on for the last three weeks. Her anticipation of disaster continued to grow through the first half of the program.

That first half finished with Liz stepping over to the side for the solo parts from 'Ave Maria'. It seemed that Kim's fellow cheerleader opened her heart and soul to the music and words, her voice soaring effortlessly it seemed.

Kim knew she was doomed.

* * *

Kim disappeared during intermission. Liz wanted to fume but Anne Possible restrained the girl with a gentle hand. "Let her do what she needs to do to get ready," were Anne's soft words. Liz accepted them. What she was still having a hard time accepting was that a completely fearless Alpha Dog like Kim was having so many issues with just getting up and _singing_! Parts of Liz's ego still grated about the fact that Kim had muscled in on Liz's world of music even while Kim was still the one most definitely in charge of Liz's cheer life. _That_ was why Liz had stood her ground for more than two months against what it was that Kim wanted to do. It wasn't that Liz minded Kim being in the choir, far from it. It was fun to have a classmate in the group and it was certainly a head rush for Liz to be superior to Kim in _something_. But what Kim wanted Liz to do, what she wanted Liz to sacrifice—

But then, as Kim's asking became more insistent, Liz had come to the realization that somewhere inside her cheer captain was a need that couldn't . . . _shouldn't_ be denied. Confused and uncertain, Liz had sought out the Music Director, the woman she had been taking private lessons in voice from for the past four years (after Liz's first voice teacher retired), a woman whose advice Liz trusted implacably.

Now, Liz was more than wondering the consequences of that.

In the end, Liz had given in to Kim's request. It would be incorrect to say that Liz had taken her denied ego out on Kim during the tree weeks of intense vocal training that followed; Liz was a better person than that. But if Kim was going to butt in on something that Liz had already made her own, she was going to at least perform on the same level that Liz expected of herself even if Liz had to (figuratively) beat it into her.

Which was why Liz was more than frustrated at the moment.

And just about ready to (literally) beat it into her cheer captain.

Anne in the meantime mentally worked out just where Kim might have gone to ground . . . just in case.


	6. It Came Upon a Midnight Fear

Chapter Six – It Came Upon a Midnight Fear

* * *

All ten-year-old Kimmie Possible wanted to do was get up and _sing_! It didn't matter that she had just had her full set of mouth metal put in. It didn't matter that it was something as dorky like her last elementary school 'Christmas pageant'. None of that mattered. All that mattered was that she had been chosen from all the other kids to sing 'solo' Silent Night while being dressed like an angel.

She had been backstage with the other angels, waiting for the cue to go on. The weeks of rehearsals, of learning her lines and blocking, of working with Mrs. Fletcher, the music teacher on hitting all the notes 'with firm dispatch' (Fletchers words), the thrill of the first time that she hit the high notes during rehearsal without the piano following her along.

Kimmie was ready!

The precocious ten-year old had decided that she wanted to be just like her final elementary school teacher Mrs. Fletcher. Mrs. Fletcher was going to retire at the end of the school year so Kimmie had done her best to emulate the woman in all ways. What had finally cemented Kimmie's opinion and desire to become the next Mrs. Fletcher was the woman's mastery of music.

For that, Kimmie had more than once source of experience in watching the older woman. In addition to teaching music in Kimmie's elementary school, Mrs. Fletcher was also the soloist in the choir at Kimmie's and her family's church and in the ten-year olds opinion; the woman _did_ have the voice of an angel (the fact that her own mother sang in the same choir didn't count. Mrs. Fletcher did _not_ force Kimmie to eat broccoli).

The climax of it all was the churches yearly Christmas music festival. There was one song in particular that Mrs. Fletcher sang at the end of every festival that Kimmie had attended. That song . . . that one song, always sent shivers/goose bumps/thrills up and down Kimmie's spine.

Kimmie wanted to learn to sing like that . . . and it was her dream . . . to someday sing that same song . . . _that same song that Mrs. Fletcher sang_ . . . in church and shiver/goose bump/thrill everyone who listened to her.

Kimmie waited for her cue, it was all she could do to stand still.

Like her Uncle Slim would say, she was _fired up_.

Like Mrs. Fletcher would say, she was _primed, _she was _psyched_.

Like her Dad would say, she was 'gonna wow them' (but she would never admit any saying from her oh-so-clueless father).

Kimmie saw Mrs. Fletchers signal to walk out onto the stage. Silent Night wasn't _the song_ that Mrs. Fletcher sang, but it was the first step on the road that would lead Kimmie to that magical night someday. She stepped out into the spotlights. She was ready; Mrs. Fletcher had told her so.

She was going to give it everything in a way that only an overly focused and overachieving ten-year old who believed that she could do anything—

* * *

A thoroughly miserable Kim Possible sat in the back corner of the rear storeroom, shivering slightly in her tank top and capris for her robe was on the ground beside her and it was cold in the room—

_And then you saw Liz sing last Christmas_ Kim was lamenting to herself. _And you said to yourself that if she could do it, if Liz could get up under those lights in front of all those people . . . then you could do it too._ Kim sighed heavily._ Was there contempt in your mind because Liz is the weakest in the cheer squad? Did you think that with Liz being 'weak' that what you wanted to do would be EASY? Did your "I can do anything' ego tell you that this would be a breeze because I can do anything better than Liz?_

Kim rubbed a tired hand over her face, trying to forestall the moisture that was creeping into her eyes._ And now . . . here you are. You're right back where you started when Ron roped you into doing that talent show. You're scared that you're going to blow it. It doesn't matter that Liz has been busting your butt after you had the GALL three months ago to ask if you could sing the song with her. THE SONG! MRS. FLETCHER'S SONG, THE ONE YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO SING IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. It was Liz's song, a solo and you practically twisted Liz's arm to get her to agree, you badgered her to take her SOLO AWAY FROM HER, do it as a duet! You kept after her for two months until you got your way and she agreed to the duet. YOU HAD THE GALL TO DO THAT and look at you now, after spending five nights a week with Liz for the last three weeks getting the snot pounded out of you by the weakest member of your cheer squad who also happens to be an AWESOME singer. . . HERE you are . . . hiding in a freaking icebox because you think that you're going to let them all down. ALL of them, Liz, Mom, the Director, all the other choir members, Dad and Jean . . . Ron—_

Kim thought of the phone conversation that she had had with Ron the night before. She thought of the things she had been thinking that she _hadn't_ said to Ron.

_I want to say that it's Ron's fault for making me rediscover music when he signed me up for that talent show just to bring down Bonnie. Then he got me to get into gear and I had to start to work at singing when we had to stop Drakken and his rappin' Lather-Rinse-Obey scheme. Ron even agreed and was enthusiastic about my joining the choir with my Mom._

Kim shook her head sadly._ I want to say this this is all Ron's fault. He kept urging me on. And it looked like it was working. All the rehearsals went well. Liz kicked my butt but she said that at the end, I had it knocked if all I had to do was stay focused._

Kim sniffed against a runny nose that she told herself was from the cold air in the room. _It's not Ron's fault . . . it's right back to the elementary school pageant. RIGHT back to that! THAT SONG! SILENT NIGHT! And the disaster that happened when my voice broke on the high notes._

Kim laid a hand on her forehead thinking back. _It's the same sitch all over again. Exact same sitch! What's happening here is no different than what happened back then in elementary school. Audition-no drama, lessons- fine, rehearsals-good to go. Being told that I had it nailed . . . yeah—right. __**AND I BLEW IT DURING THE ACTUAL PERFORMANCE! I COULDN'T SING THE HIGH PARTS TO SAVE MY LIFE!**_

Kim sighed in abject defeat, _the talent show with Bonnie should have told you. Your voice kept cracking during all the rehearsals. The only reason you were able to sing during the show itself was the adrenalin high you were on from beating Drakken and the electricity still running through you after teleporting through the phone lines. You sang THAT ONE TIME without problems. You haven't sung anything since then other than with family._

Another sigh, this one filled with disgust with herself. _The thing with Drakken and 'ASM', the quickie lesson with the Music Director got the crack out of your voice . . . but you never actually had to get on stage and sing against Drakken. You were fighting with Shego and Ron took care of the whole thing himself. You probably couldn't have done it there either. You'd have gone onto that stage in front of that nasty judge and all those people in the audience and you'd FREAK!_

It was time Kim thought, for her to at last look at the thing honestly. _You thought that you had gotten beyond the memory of what happened in elementary school. You thought that since you were older and so much more mature that you didn't have to fear anything from when you were a silly child. Despite the fact that you were still blowing it in the rehearsals of the talent show. Despite the fact that you never did perform for ASM. You denied it to yourself, you were denying it when you told Mom that you were going to go ahead and join the choir, you denied it when you started to badger Liz to do the duet . . . just as you were denying it after seeing that video last spring that started the whole thing up again_

_You've done nothing but deny it . . . until the realization hit you ten days ago._ Now a tear did creep out of the corner of one of Kim's eyes_ . . . and the fear started coming back. Is THAT when you started to give Liz 'snap? That's when you started to have second thoughts and started to realize, started to know that the memory still had real power, that you were still afraid that you really didn't know if you could do it or not. You really didn't know if you could get up in front of people outside of your family and sing. _

Kim stared straight ahead without seeing. Her mind's eye thinking back, _all that effort, all the energy you put into it. You convinced yourself that you could sing in the Christmas program and while you were at it . . . that you could sing the song, Mrs. Fletcher's song, at least as a duet with Liz. You thought you could force yourself through that memory—_

_That memory from—_

Kim pulled her knees up to her chest and dropped her forehead onto them. The memory, the incredibly strong memory of that night in elementary school was back to haunt her with a vengeance, despite the denial that she had forced upon herself for years.

The worse memory from her entire life (other than maybe the memory of a certain synthodrone). When her voice broke on the high notes of Silent Night, Kim could see the horror on the faces of her parents in the audience. She could see the amusement, some of it smug, in the faces of all the other parents and adults. She could hear the 'giggle's' coming from her classmates off stage—

Classmates who relentlessly teased her about it for weeks afterward. It had been the first and _only_ time that Kim had been teased about something where she didn't have any weapons to fight back with. She couldn't fight back! It was her fault! She had blown it!

The cruelty of her classmates devastated her, for with the viciousness which only elementary school children can display, they had realized that they had finally found a chink in Kim Possible's armor and they exploited it. Kim had let them. She knew that she could not fight back . . . and with good reason. For it was her own voice; which had performed flawlessly in audition and rehearsal, her voice along with the song Silent Night that had betrayed her.

The teasing was relentless. It lasted the rest of the winter and all through the spring. It wasn't until she graduated to Middle School that she was at last able to escape it.

It had scared her . . . even if she hadn't been able to admit it. Now she had too.

"I couldn't even sing Silent Night as a part of the snappin choir just now," she mumbled to herself. "I was so afraid that my voice would break again that I had to mouth the words of a tune I've sung I don't know how many times elsewhere."

_Even if you really haven't been able to sing it at anything more that a whisper since then._

Kim gave out a deep, heartfelt sigh. "What am I gonna do?" she wondered.

"You're going to climb right back into that saddle young lady," a very familiar voice told her.

Kim looked up to see her Mom and Liz standing in the door of the storeroom.

"Their holding up the start of the second half," Liz stated without any inflection in her voice.

Kim looked at the two women before her.

She saw no trace of blame or condemnation in those faces.

_You're letting everyone down!_ she thought.

_Ron—?_


	7. The First Noteel

Chapter Seven – The First Note-el

* * *

There seemed to be a little delay in the start of the second half. Something was whispered that someone from the choir had gotten ill or something. It didn't really matter for several of the audience had made quick runs to get Stardoe's coffee and had problems getting back in time. Anyway, it was better late than never when the orchestra followed by the choir at last filed out preparing to start the second half.

Ron was in his seat, his arms crossed in front of him. The look he wore was close to his patented 'note-serious-face' look.

At last Ron saw Kim come out. Her head was down; she had the worst 'hang-dog' look on her face that he had ever seen.

_KP? _Ron inwardly shook his head. _Is this what happens when you get too focused? When you concentrate too hard and it starts to overwhelm you? After all this time why can't you see that even when you're working hard, you also have to take it easy or it comes around to bite you? All I've seen tonight is you getting more and more worked up. I was hoping that you're Mom and Liz could handle you but now it's obvious—_

_Okay, _Ron thought _enough is enough! Time for the Ronster to step in for his BFGF!_ With that he stood up.

Ron ignored the hisses from behind him, ignored the glares that he could feel stabbing into his back. The commotion behind him started to get louder—

Then it abruptly subsided. For Ron's mother beside him understood. She turned around and unleashed her own 'fearsome lioness protecting her cubs' face which silenced those who were annoyed with her son.

One hardy soul resisted and started to call out, "Down in fron—"

Only to be hit with the equivalent of a three turret broadside from a super dreadnaught, for both Mrs. Load and Monique turned around to add the weight of their own protective stares—

The poor soul didn't have a chance.

Ron waited. He knew that at some point, Kim would look out—

* * *

Kim had resigned herself to her doom. If her mother and Liz refused to understand, than what was about to happen would not be her fault. She would play the hand dealt her, go through the motions, get it over with so she could move on and forget about singing.

The fact that her Mom had had to hunt her down with Liz in tow was just another oh so total embarrassment moment in an entire evening seemed to be poised to become a disaster. Kim didn't even feel angry about it. Everything was now in the hands of fate.

Still, tucked back far inside her brain, her inner voice, now reduced to a mere whisper, the Alpha Dog/Blue Fox part of her was trying gamely to get her ego to listen.

_Focus! It's just about focus! Get your head in the game Possible. You're supposed to be the most ferociously focused overachiever in school! Don't give up!_

Despite (or because of) her internal dialogue, Kim felt herself flailing inside. She wasn't sure what to do. She _knew_ that she was going to lose it. She was knew that when 'Oh Little Town of Bethlehem' ended, when 'the song', Mrs. Fletchers song came up, she would freeze up like Duff Killigan's golf balls in a—

Kim realized as the line stopped and she turned with the rest of the choirs to face front that they hadn't taken the house lights down yet. Apparently some of the audience was equally late coming back due to the weather or something. Without thinking she looked out over the audience—

Only to have her eyes suddenly focus on the most important person in her world.

And she could see that Ron was looking at her—

He was . . . not happy.

In fact he was wearing . . . _that_ face.

Kim had been told that Monique and Wade had been hunting for her during intermission. They had wanted to give her a final hug before her big moment. Ron had not. He was sticking to his promise not to bother her until she had finished what she had set out to do.

Which was now so not going to happen.

But an angry Ron was looking at her.

Kim could tell that Ron's eyes were on her. He was seeing her . . . _he_ was seeing her as only he could see her. He saw her and he knew her—

And with a silent but completely exaggerated movement of his mouth and lips, he thought/mouthed/GLARED at her; _**RELAX!**_

That hit her like a slap to the face.

Then the house lights went down.

And the music started.

The orchestra opened with 'Jingle Bells'. Kim was grateful that with the orchestra opening the second half of the program, she had time to think. Her head went down; she could still feel the slight tremble in her knees and hands.

'Relax' is what Ron had told her.

Kim's temper flared for just a moment. Something like that coming from the Master of Panic Attacks. What did Ron think—?

Then . . . Kim got a hold of herself. For there lay the entire puzzle.

What did Ron think? What did he see in her?

_Relax!_

He was telling her . . . _**HE WAS TELLING HER!**_

The Master of Panic Attacks . . . who had won the First Prize at the talent show that had started the whole thing by doing an entire litany of every imaginable _anything_ that he could do to delay the show until Kim could arrive. An incredible job of improvisation under fire. That same person was the proclaimed Ace of Mad Running Away Skills, who when she had been tied up fighting Shego backstage at the ASM's, had stepped into the gap becoming a sensation on national television for the Naked Mole Rat Rap, another brilliant spur-of-the-moment demonstration of—

Ron was the King of Marinating. Despite his panic and his fear . . . the boy _knew_ how to relax.

And he was telling her, _ORDERING HER_, to do the same.

Because he knew her so well.

Kim loved to sing.

Ron was _telling_ her—

Could she do it for Ron?

No . . . could she do it . . . for herself . . . for Ron?

_**Relax!**_

Kim looked back up. Her BFBF's silent rebuke had shaken her too her core. She wasn't even sure . . . did Ron really believe in her that much? Believe that she was simply blowing everything up out of proportion? Was Ron even now—

Kim wanted to raise her hands in front of her face. The intense lights in her eyes, she tried looking back out into the audience—

Kim sucked in a breath. She could tell, even though they were minutes into the second half of the show that Ron was still standing. Still looking at her.

After a long moment, Jingle Bells was finishing—

Kim gave a soft nod to the silhouette out in the audience.

But the nod wasn't meant for the audience. It was meant for one particular member.

A silhouette that finally sat down.

_Relax!_

Kim squared her shoulders. Ron trusted her, believed in her. That meant that Kim had too—

_Trust in Liz . . . follow her lead. Just like in all the rehearsals. Let it flow._

_Have fun . . . enjoy—_

_Relax . . . _

_. . . SING!_

_I love you Ron!_

_

* * *

_The second half proceeded. It was brisk, it was festive. The members of the choir were obviously enjoying themselves, enjoying the spirit and the sound of the music they made.

Even as—

If someone in the audience, someone with the training and experience of say, a choir director, someone whose hearing was highly tuned to recognize individual voices, a needed trait when dealing with large groups in order to pick out the wandering voice that had broken away from the pack, such an ear might have heard something else during the second half of the program.

It would have detected a voice which up to now had been hesitant and subdued, performing 'mechanically' without any joy or passion behind it. But as the half progressed, that voice seemed to find itself. Seemed to find its life and heart. That voice; tentative at first, seemed to gain strength and assurance with every piece completed. A voice that slowly came into its own, picking up the tips and teachings that had been programmed into it over the last couple of weeks by a friend that both knew how to sing and knew how to teach singing.

A voice that wanted to sing.

In the Possible church Christmas Music Festival, it was the tradition for the finale to be a particular song. The song that Mrs. Fletcher had always done as the finale when Kim was growing up, the song that Liz had done as her solo debut the year before (to Kim's amazement, rekindling her desire to try to make the dream come true). THE SONG. The piano started the into. The board lights across the choir came down as the forward spot came up. Out into that spot stepped Liz. The music played. The moment started—

_O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining; it is the night of the dear Savior's birth. _(Liz's voice, as clear and crisp as the night air outside took up the phrase)

_Long lay the world in sin and error pining. Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. _(Kim's voice, a softer timbre came out with assurance as she stepped up into the spotlight next to her friend)

_A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. _(Liz came back on the next phrase, the 'ringing' in her voice plain through the last group of lyrics)

_Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices! _(Liz carried the next phrase forward, the 'pipes' in her throat opening, the strength of her voice coming to the fore as the words/notes rang on the ears)

_O night divine, O night when Christ was born; O night, divine, O night, _(In harmony matched, Kim's voice a lower third as they moved along together)

_O night divine! _(Liz came back solo to finish the phrase as the violinist before them picked the phrase running it into the bridge)

Ron watched with shining eyes. He almost didn't recognize the girl before him under the lights.

And yet he could tell just who and what she was.

Kim was breathless, in awe, lost in the groove, allowing herself to become one with the music, allowing herself to enjoy and express that enjoyment with— _  
_

_Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother. And in His name all oppression shall cease. _(Kim's voice alone, solo, carrying the tune by herself, coming through bright and clear, her presence steady, her control after Liz's tutoring precise)

_Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, Let all within us praise His holy name. _(Both together again, Kim a full octave low at this point but the blend dramatic)

_Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we, _(The full octave blend continues, their phrasing/blend matched perfectly giving the impression of one voice)

_Noel, Noel, O night, O night divine. _(Two voices blended together now, same key, same notes, angelic tones)

_Noel, _(Harmony, Kim a third low)

_Noel! . . . . O night, _(Both voices came up and hit the High 'E' 'with firm dispatch'. The two voices blending but one obviously the stronger while the other gave support)

_O night divine_. (Kim alone carried the phrase—)

_Noel, _(Repeat of the harmony with Kim still low)

_Noel! . . . . O night. _(The climax. Liz's reached out and grabbed the High 'G' as if she owned it. Kim stayed in support with the still respectable 'E' as the _Noel_ stretched out, Liz's voice falling down to Kim's for the rest of the phrase)

_O night divine. _(Kim solo, finishing the phrase and the song, the last words, the last notes all her own)

With the orchestra completing the outro—

Kim standing with joy radiating on her face, tears she had yet to feel streaming down her cheeks, her lips still holding the shapes of the last notes from THE SONG she had always wanted to sing in church before an audience—

Which came to its feet in a standing ovation.

Well, it wasn't really _that _spectacular of a performance. But the Possible's, Stoppable's and friends came to their feet. A moment later by influence, Liz's family was on theirs and the rest of the audience more or less followed.

Up in the choir—

Liz kept a comfortable stance, trying unsuccessfully not to let a grin come to her face.

Anne watching the daughter beside her, tears in her own eyes. To her, Kim looked just like an excitable ten-year old who had just won first place in the talent contest.

Out in the audience, Ron, Wade and Monique jumping up and down, (Wade was having to stand on a chair to do it) Rufus dancing on top of Ron's heads holding two big 'thumbs up'.

Kim felt—

Her eyes could only go to one place. She could see only his face.

And there was only one thing to do.

The portion of the audience that noticed chuckled or snorted when Kim looked directly at her BFBF and with a completely exaggerated movement of her mouth and lips, she mouthed—

_I LOVE YOU!_

And Kim Possible could care less about the chuckles and snorts.

* * *

A/N: First of all, for all you musicians out there, please be gentle if I've butchered the correct phraseology in trying to describe what occurred during 'O Holy Night'. In the early and mid 70's, my girlfriend of the time was a Voice Major at Cal State Northridge and she use to perform in various ad-hoc groups with her classmates and friends for various churches and other local events. As the only 'bass-baritone' in the bunch, I was often recruited to help even though I didn't (and still don't) read music. But play whatever I was singing on a piano three or four times and I had it down. I remember the phrases 'a third' in talking about harmony and such, comments like as 'opening the pipes' for opening up the throat and the depth of the voice changing. All those kind of things are memories from those days. I don't know what the correct terminology would be and the Web was no help in finding _simple_ explanations of what I was trying to say. So I went with what I remembered. Please be kind.

The version of 'O Holy Night' presented here is based on Celtic Woman's version from their Christmas C/D (versus the DVD where it is slightly different). They did it as a quartet but the first time I heard it, the plot bunny struck and I could see Kim doing it as a duet. I didn't think that Kim would have the vocal training to hit that high note with the firmness that I have always know from multiple artists interpretations. Maybe someday she will have learned enough to really be able to do it the way she wanted.

One more chapter till the end. I hope everyone has enjoyed this story.

Until then

I Will Remain.

Your Humble and Devoted Servant.

The Wise Duck


	8. The Hallelujah Joyus

Chapter Eight – The Hallelujah Joyus

* * *

Of course, the encore was the Hallelujah Chorus. Freed at last from her fears, Kim had gone into it with an energy and enthusiasm that threatened to combust her. She was aware of her own voice soaring in tandem with her mother's and Liz's. She was _singing_! Singing in the way she had always dreamed.

The Chorus ended. Kim, flushed with excitement and enthusiasm tried to keep from bouncing on her toes as she stood with her hands in the proper position waiting for the applause to die. She felt good, she felt—

The lights went down again. Kim felt herself start—what was going on? The Choir should be turning to walk off stage.

Kim felt pressure against both of her shoulders. It—

It was her Mom and Liz, gently urging her forward with their shoulders against hers as the close spots came up. Mystified, Kim allowed herself to be pushed up closer to the audience. A glance over the side showed the rest of the choir moving off stage.

"Mom—" she whispered out of the side of her mouth, "what's going on?"

"Relax," came the reply, sounding like an order. It was followed by, "enjoy."

Kim blinked. _Enjoy—enjoy what?"_

Then Anne Possible's mouth came open and out came—

"_Silent Night."_

Kim was stunned. What was her mom—

Then Liz countered from Kim's other side.

"_Holly Night."_

Kim realized—

They were expecting her to sing the next phrase . . . it was the _high_ note, the very phrase that her voice had broken on in the elementary school pageant. She _COULDN'T_—

She received from both sides, gentle but firm thumps to her shoulders—

"_All is Calm!"_ It took Kim a split moment to realize—_that was her voice! Hitting the high notes!_

All three women blended on _"All is Bright!_

It continued round robin, each woman taking a phrase then combining on the forth. As she was the third phrase, _all_ of Kim's solo lines where the high notes! In this way, the three women made their way through the first verse. By the end, Kim was still mystified but going along with whatever her Mom and Liz (along with the Music Director and the tech crew at least) had in mind.

Kim's surprise continued as Anne went into the second verse. This time, she sang the entire first phrase- _Silent Night, Holy Night_, Liz, the entire second-_Shepherd's quake at the sight._ So Kim's was-_Glories Stream from Heaven Above_. Anne took the fourth phrase-_Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia_ even as Kim felt a hand on her forearm. She glanced at Liz who's eyes met hers and with a nod of her head that Kim had gotten to know during all the intensive training—

_Christ the Savior is Born!_ All three in harmony with Kim carrying the lyric, Anne and Liz going to the minor. They finished the verse in this way.

All three of them sang the third verse in harmony, Liz rising a full octave above Kim and Anne, effortlessly carrying the notes.

Kim had become lost in the music. Inside of her, there was a bittersweet feeling. Bitter for she now acknowledge it had been her own insecurities that had kept her from knowing this feeling for so long. Sweet because only now could she truly feel the love and support from those who had been trying to help her make this moment in her life happen. They went into the forth verse, that being the first verse repeated—

And Kim was almost the entire first line into it when she realized—

That she was all by herself. Her Mom and Liz had dropped out.

She was singing it solo.

And the high note was coming up.

_The High Note—_

On the inside, Kim found nothing but a smile.

For as she hit that high note dead on—

The wound, long raw and ignored, the gaping hole inside of her which had long been covered with a tarp of denial, the crushed ego that only a completely embarrassed and totally mortified ten-year old girl who had never before failed could know—

The memory of that moment, the moment when that old wound healed and closed would be cherished for the rest of her life.

Kim finished. Respectful applause broke out.

The house lights came up.

And only now could Kim really see the incredible grin that was on a certain boys face.

* * *

In the choir room, Ron grabbed Kim bodily around the waist to swing her up and twirl her around—

Knocking over a bunch of bottles of cider on an adjacent table by accident. Fortunately, they were unopened and the floor was carpeted.

Kim's face was still flushed with excitement. She was in that incredible position where she was both wired to the max and yet exhausted from the emotional drain. Her memories of the rest of the evening, of the time when she stood with her family and friends was a little blurry in the days ahead but there were clear memories that she would keep with her for the rest of her life.

Time was passing, other members of the choir were poking their heads into the group to give their congratulations or say their goodnights, Rufus was yawning his head off, the twins were scowling fiercely because Jean Stoppable had a hold of the both of them so they couldn't sneak off to cause mischief—

"Kim,"

Kim turned her head at the sound of her mother's voice. Anne nodded in a direction 'over there'. Kim looked towards the direction.

To see the Music Director carefully guiding someone who looked to be old and frail through the crowd toward them. The person was using a walker and had their hat covered head down to watch the movement of their feet.

Respectful always of her elders, Kim guessed that the Director was bringing one of the elderly matrons of the church back at their request. Considering the steps up to reach the choir room, it must have been quite a trip. As the Director actually brought the woman into Kim's group, the woman's head came up into view.

Kim stared for the longest moment. _That face looks very familiar to me._

"Kimberly?"

Kim froze. Kim knew that voice! How could she ever forget—

A voice that had sung like an angel.

"Mrs. Fletcher?" Kim asked, as shocked and stunned as if Shego had walked up to her asking politely to share the recipes for Grandma Possible's Christmas cookies.

Mrs. Fletcher looked down at the walker in front of her. "Please forgive this monstrosity Kimberly. I just had surgery to fix the hip I broke playing beach volleyball with my granddaughter from Florida U." The elder woman gave a wicked smile. "We placed into the semi-finals before _that_ little misfortune occurred."

The elder woman then reached out to touch Kim's cheek. Now that Kim had gotten a good look, it was clear that despite the walker, Mrs. Fletcher looked very good for her age. But any questions died in Kim's throat. She stood speechless, for once in her life not being able to come up with something to say.

Mrs. Fletcher said it for her. "It was simply lovely my dear. Well worth coming all the way from Florida to hear. I am so glad that you're mother was able to arrange for me to attend."

Kim gave her mom a shocked look. Anne simply looked back with her 'Mom always knows best' smile on her face.

Kim looked back to the 'angel' before her. "Mrs. Fletcher—" she tried to start—

But the emotions of the moment were too intense. Kim reached up to carefully grasp and squeeze the hand holding her cheek, trying to convey through her touch what she was unable to say with her voice. The tears were again flowing from her eyes.

Again, Mrs. Fletcher beat her too it.

"I always knew that someday you would realize your dream Kimberly." The old woman then cocked her head to the side. "But what took you so long?"

Kim . . . just couldn't say anything.

Ron could . . . as he always did when Kim needed someone to lean on. In fact he wrapped one arm around his KP even as he said—

"She just had to wait for her Christmas Angel to be in the audience Mrs. Fletcher." He then raised his eyebrow at her. "So what took _you_ so long?"

The old woman grinned—

And a moment later, the entire group dissolved into laughter.

* * *

A/N: I want to say think you to all of those who read this and special thanks to those who took the time to send me a review or PM. Been gone for a while and hearing from all those good people again was a very pleasant experience. You guys have often been in my thoughts even though I am not around.

For those of you who might have been wondering what I've been doing, I have decided to start publishing my Firefly/OC crossover sometime after the first of the year under the Firefly banner on . Even if it isn't a Kim Possible story, I hope that some of you will come over and peruse it, that way I hope it will make up for all the flaming I worry about getting from the Firefly community.

So until then, I want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays and may the New Year be good to you as well.

So, until we meet again.

I Shall Remain

As Always

Your Humble and Devoted Servant

The Wise Duck


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